one night, one look

And he looked at her in a way that she did not understand.
In a way, that, for a split of a second sent her back to almost two years ago now.
A way that made her wonder: was he looking at her or through her?
Did he let his guard down for a minute and allowed himself to look at her with another eyes?
"If only anybody else had seen the way he looked at me..." she thinks.
It was almost like he was comparing her to somebody else, like he wanted to say something, like he was thinking how beautiful she looked that night...
It was just a look, a three second long look.
But, that, for her, was enough.

Casa de Campo

(Elis)

Eu quero uma casa no campo
Onde eu possa compor muitos rocks rurais
E tenha somente a certeza
Dos amigos do peito e nada mais

Eu quero uma casa no campo
Onde eu possa ficar no tamanho da paz
E tenha somente a certeza
Dos limites do corpo e nada mais

Eu quero carneiros e cabras pastando solenes
No meu jardim
Eu quero o silêncio das línguas cansadas
Eu quero a esperança de óculos
Meu filho de cuca legal
Eu quero plantar e colher com a mão
A pimenta e o sal

Eu quero uma casa no campo
Do tamanho ideal, pau-a-pique e sapé
Onde eu possa plantar meus amigos
Meus discos e livros
E nada mais

Um vazio de ausencia

Forgive me those who might eventually read this, but this one needs to be in portugese. 'Cos to express what I am feeling I need the right words....because I feel, eu sinto, um vazio de ausencia....
ufa....
É um respirar profundo na busca de algo dentro de nós e o nao achar...
é a falta de alguém, de um sorriso, de um toque, de um quentinho...
é um pequeno aperto no peito q vai e volta... volta e vai...
nao te faz chorar, mas nao te faz sorrir, te faz pensar e sentir...
um vazio...
falta alguem...
nao é solidao, é só ausencia... é sentir falta...
é querer o q nao se tem... e desejar o q já passou...
uma ausencia...
um vazio, incrível, de ausencia......... ai.

How long has it been!?

One whole month! Uff!

I have been busy, not much time to think of anything apart phd. That is it, I have become a geek! I dream with the stuff! I talk about the stuff! I live the bloody stuff...

Very recently I met a guy. Nice, handsome, seemed very keen...and guess what!?! I scare him away! Poor guy! In the balance, he might have thought: "here it is, a nice girl, that is going away very soon, but can only bloody talk about her bloody phd!" Anyways, to him I say: it was nice not knowing you!

On the other hand, the fact that I soon am going to go back to Rio has made me to re-discover some undiscovered friends. It's being nice, fun, easy, necessary and mine. Am not sharing it with anyone. Am keeping it low profile. It is my business, noone else's.

From now, those are the updates.....

...Release Me....

(Agnes Carlsson)


Release me
Release my body
I know it's wrong
So why am I with you now
I say release me
'Cause I'm not able to
Convince myself
That I'm better off without you

Yeah, it's perfectly clear
That love's not what you need
I tell you I don't care
But I don't want to

Anything that you say
I hear myself agree
And I don't recognize
What i've turned into

I don't know why I want you so
'Cause I don't need the heart break
I don't know what addictive hold
You have on me I can't shake

No, I'm not in control
So let me go

Release me
Release my body
I know it's wrong
So why do I keep coming back

I say release me
'Cause I'm not able to
Convince myself
That I'm better off without you

I could sleep by myself
I would burn me alive
Find me somebody else
But I don't want to

Try to leave out the love
That goes againt the grain
But I can rationalize it
If I have to

I don't know why I want you so
'Cause I don't need the heart break
I don't know what addictive hold
You have on me I can't shake
No, I'm not in control

So let me go

Release me
Release my body
I know it's wrong
So why do I keep coming back

I say release me
'Cause I'm not able to
Convince myself
That I'm better off wïthout you

Eu queria saber

(Composicao: Pedro Paulo Veiga - Meu Pai!!)

Eu queria saber, se voce vai continuar
desse jeito, no meu peito
a me pertubar
sem saber o que quer e o que pensar.

Eu queria saber, o porque de voce falar
desse jeito, sem direito
de me pertubar
de querer outra vez me ver entrar...

Ali na sua porta
ali no seu lugar
ali na sua porta
e depois fazer parte do seu lar.

Hysteria

(Muse)

It's bugging me
Grating me
And twisting me around

Yeah I'm endlessly
Caving in
And turning inside out

'Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I'm breaking out
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control

Yeah It's holding me
Morphing me
And forcing me to strive
To be endlessly
Cool within
And dreaming I'm alive.

'Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I'm breaking down
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control

And I want you now
I want you now
I feel my heart implode
And I'm breaking out
Escaping now
Feeling my faith erode