I wished it would "feel like home"....

Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself
Makes me want to lose myself in your arms
There's something in your voice
Makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
If you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks down a long dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see through the dark there's light

If you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
If you knew how happy you are making me
I've never thought I'd love anyone so much

Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

the feeling of waiting....

Waiting for a sign,
waiting for a while,
waiting for that.

Waiting for some courage,
waiting for an answer,
waiting for a yes.

Waiting for a momment,
Waiting for a smile,
maybe waiting in vain.

Waiting for the end,
waiting to be happy,
waiting...........

random thoughts...

Seize the day,
enjoy your life,
dance like no one is watching!

Be on time,
be late,
do as you wish...

Play another song,
sing it out of tune,
run a bit quicker...

Fall in love,
break your heart,
do it all over again.

From "Carta a maria mantilla"

Mucha tienda, poco alma.
Quien tiene mucho adentro, necesita poco afuera.
Quien lleva mucho afuera, tiene poco adentro, y quiere disimular lo poco.
Quien siente su belleza, la belleza interior, no busca afuera belleza prestada: se sabe hermosa, y la belleza echa luz.
Procurará mostrarse alegre, y agradable a los ojos, porque es deber humano causar placer en vez de pena, y quien conoce la belleza la respeta y cuida en los demás y en sí.
Pero no pondrá en un jarrón de China un jazmín: pondrá el jazmín, solo y ligero, en un cristal de agua clara.
Esa es la elegancia verdadera: que el vaso no sea más que la flor.
Y esa naturalidad, y verdadero modo de vivir, con piedad para los vanos y pomposos, se aprende con encanto en la historia de las criaturas de la tierra. [...]
[...]
Pasa, callada, por entre la gente vanidosa.
Tu alma es tu seda.
Envuelve a tu madre, y mímala, porque es grande honor haber venido de esa mujer al mundo.
Que cuando mires dentro de ti, y de lo que haces, te encuentres como la tierra por la mañana, bañada de luz.
Siéntete limpia y ligera, como la luz.
Deja a otras el mundo frívolo: tú vales más.
Sonríe, y pasa.
(Jose Marti)

When did I lose myself?

I have posted this song “All I want”. In that there’s this verse “I love you some… I love you when I forget about me”.

Why is it that some things are like this? Why is it that to be able to fully dedicate to something you have to give up on something else? Why can’t there be a balance? Why can’t I find a balance…when was it that I lost myself from me?

I have a feeling that the few last months I have lost myself, in the most complete way. And even worse, the little bits I find – here and there – they do not make me happy… It is like I have had a crash and spread myself all around… the good bits they went somewhere I can’t seem to be able to find, but the bad bits of me they keep flashing in front of my eyes… other people find them and present them back to me… and all this makes me wonder… where are all the other bits? Where is the fun? Where is the charisma? Where is the good will? Where is the smile, the joke, the song, the dance, the caring… where is me???

And this made me realized: I put so much effort in forgetting about him, that I ended up forgetting about me and worst, loosing myself from me. Gotta find my way back.... but maybe when after finishing this lovelly PhD of mine!

All I Want

(Joni Mitchell)


I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
traveling, traveling, traveling
Looking for something, what can it be?

Oh i hate you some, I hate you some
I love you some
I love you when I forget about me
I want to be strong I want to laugh along
I want to belong to the living

Alive, alive, I want to get up and jive
I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive
Do you want- do you want- do you want
to dance with me baby
do you want to take a chance
and maybe find some sweet romance with me baby
well come on

All I really really want our love to do
is to bring out the best in me and in you too
All I really really want our love to do
is to bring out the best in me and in you

I want to talk to you, I want to shampoo you
I want to renew you again and again
Applause, applause- Life is our cause
When I think of you kisses
my mind see-saws

do you see- do you see- do you see
how you hurt me baby
then I hurt you too
then we both get so blue

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
looking for the key to set me free
Oh the jealousy, the greed it is unraveling
it's the unraveling
and it undoes all the joy the could be

I want to have fun, I want to shine like the sun
I want to be the one that you want to see
I want to knit you a sweater
want to write you a love letter
I want to make you feel better
I want to make you feel free
Hmm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm,
Want to make you feel free
I want to make you feel free

Todas As Ruas Do Amor

Se sou tinta Tu és tela
Se sou chuva És aguarela
Se sou sal És branca areia
Se sou mar És maré-cheia
Se sou céu És nuvem nele
Se sou estrela És de encantar
Se sou noite És luz para ela

Se sou dia És o luar
Sou a voz Do coração
Numa carta Aberta ao mundo
Sou o espelho D’emoção
Do teu olhar Profundo
Sou um todo Num instante
Corpo dado Em jeito amante
Sou o tempo Que não passa
Quando a saudade Me abraça

Beija o mar O vento e a lua
Sou um sol Em neve nua
Em todas as ruas Do amor
Serás meu E eu serei tua

Se sou tinta Tu és tela
Se sou chuva És aguarela
Se sou sal És branca areia
Se sou mar És maré cheia
Se sou céu És nuvem nele
Se sou estrela És de encantar
Se sou noite És luz para ela
Se sou dia És o luar

Beija o mar O vento e a lua
Sou um sol Em neve nua
Em todas as ruas Do amor
Serás meu E eu serei tua

(Eurovision - Portugal )

Fairytale

Years ago when I was younger
I kinda’ liked a girl I knew.
She was mine, and we were sweethearts,
That was then, but then it’s true

I’m in love with a fairytale
Even though it hurts.
‘Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind;
I’m already cursed

Every day we started fighting,
Every night we fell in love.
No one else could make me sadder,
But no one else could lift me high above

I don’t know what I was doing
But suddenly we fell apart.
Nowadays I cannot find her.
But when I do we’ll get a brand new start

I’m in love with a fairytale
Even though it hurts.
Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind;
I’m already cursed

She’s a fairytale
Yeah
Even though it hurts.
Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind;
I’m already cursed
(Eurovision - Norway)

Don't Give Up

(Whitest Boy Alive)

Give me a reason to stay constantly ignored
Give me an angle that I haven't tried before
A guarantee for being honestly compaired
You want to live when life is achingly unfair

Don't make a move you'll look ridiculous again
You share no interest but it's easy to pretend
Don't start the action it will turn against you soon
No one is going to follow and you'll stand there like a fool

You left the people when the people left you out
Back in the suburbs you're craving for the crowd
Only minded now with defeats of yesterday
The mantra spinning in your head will keep it raised

Give me a reason to stay constantly ignored: I don't think I can
Give me an angle that I haven't tried before: Not from where I stand
A guarantee for being honestly comipared: Could not be found
You want to live when life is sakenly unfair: Stick around

Don't give up
Don't give up
Don't give up

Saúde

(Rita Lee/Roberto de Carvalho)

Me cansei de lero-lero
Dá licença
Mas eu vou sair do sério
Quero mais saúde
Me cansei de escutar
Opiniões...
De como ter um mundo melhor
Mas ninguém sai de cima
Nesse chove-não-molha
Eu sei que agora
Eu vou é cuidar
Mais de mim!


Como vai? Tudo bem!
Apesar, contudo
Todavia, mas, porém
As águas vão rolar
Não vou chorar
Se por acaso morrer
Do coração...
É sinal que amei demais
Mas enquanto estou viva
Cheia de graça
Talvez ainda faça
Um monte de gente feliz!
Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!...

Ha ! Hiding!!!

what once I should have said....

Please don't leave me

Da da da da, da da da da
Da da da da-da da

I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many times have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
da da da da-da

I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
When my heart is... broken

Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise

Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry.

Da da da da, da da da da
da da da da-da da
Please, please don't leave me

Baby please don't leave me
No, don't leave me
Please don't leave me no no no
I always say how I don't need you ,
But it's gonna come right back to this.
Please, don't leave me.
No.
No, don't leave me
Please don't leave me, oh no no no.
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this

Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me

I guess them without people having to tell me...

I am feeling funny today... and am not quite sure why... might be just "missing" or "guessing"... I sometimes have these things of guessing things without people having to tell me... this is one of the things I know: I do somethimes guess! Maybe not 100% totaly right but I get there... So I guess that is it... I am having a premunition feeling... but of what!?!? Can't quite right say of what... am just feeling it... maybe it will be confirmed later.

In other feelings: I can't seem to be able to find motivation for speeding up this final phase of my phd... aff... I do sometime have another feeling, the "I'm so screwed" feeling... but not even this one makes me move faster.... I wish I could have the strengh.......

Sorry for the "blue" post... is just too many feelings I have...